This is always going to be the hard part isn’t it. To listen to your body when there are things that you need to do, but you are in pain.
Today is one of those days, as you know yesterday I hurt my arm and now I’m sitting right here trying to decide between studying and writing an exam tomorrow, and resting so I can heal. I know what the the response should be, it should be resting. Yet here I am battling my own feelings and the pain, and the want to complete the exam tomorrow.
Every time I think that I’m doing a little bit better, I move my arm and I realize that I’m still in pain. I did call the Care Center this morning, no I cannot call the doctor. The Care Center told me that there’s nothing they can do because there’s nothing sticking out and nothing seems to be in the wrong place. They told me to just take a painkiller, well take full dose painkillers for a few days and hope it dies down. They also told me that they cannot give me any paper saying that I hurt myself so I cannot take the exam. I have a feeling that this will affect my student loan, I may not get one for the next term. However as soon as I catch up on the points that are missing it should be fine. But I’m missing things from more than one course so I’ll need to look at each assignment squeeze them in to get the points and then send the additional information when I send in my application.
Again I’m writing this blog post by speaking to my phone. It helps me get some thoughts out of my head, and it helps me accept that I should not try to do the exam tomorrow. Maybe I shouldn’t write this as a public post, maybe there’s a risk that I’ll get it held against me. But honestly I don’t really care. I want to share with you all because it just helps.
So it is with a heavy heart and a really heavy, painful arm that I’m going to admit to myself that I need to take tomorrow off. I have started to look and things that will help make my studying easier in the spring, so at least I got that going for me. It won’t help me right this moment but it does help to know that I to make everything a little bit easier for me in the future
I guess I could just keep talking with you forever, so weird. I never saw myself as a vlogger even though that idea appealed to me. This is kind of like vlogging but without the video and without the voice. I’m used to seeing my voice get turned into text on the screen. It’s kind of poetic when you think of it. And I like that I’m finding ways around my problems that I can still share ideas and thoughts with you guys on a day like this.
But now I’m going to rest, because I deserve it and I’ll just keep studying a little bit every day until the reexam.