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The Night Owl

This morning, I felt good about having gone to bed early last night, and that sparked a conversation on Mastodon about Night Owls.

I realized that, as a night owl it had helped me to figure out Why I enjoyed being up at night in order to be able to enjoy going to bed early and waking up early. This can also be combined with why I would enjoy going to bed early, but I’ll try to cover that in another post.

For me it’s the silence and calm that comes over the City at night, a lot less cars, almost no people, animals are resting too. And usually it gets a lot cooler.

If I get up early I can still get some of that calm before the morning rush, and if I go shopping while everyone else is at work I catch it too. Oh, also, going out to the park early in the day as the sun is coming up is its own tranquility. Or a morning walk to get to work / school.

I can seize the means of my tranquility by finding space ever day to lay down and ground myself, find quiet areas, ask that we do not have stuff on the speakers all day, as well as tuning out the world with classical music.

The darkness is also very calming at night, and helps me get work done. Lucky for me, as I’m going back to Uni for studies, I’ve found that the silent cubicle at the university, is a glass box for reading, where you’re not allowed computers or sound on your phone. There are drapes up as well which block out most of the light. This space turned out to be a great place for me to hide for a bit and get some energy and focus.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: If you want to change a habit try to identify what about that habit makes you want to do it, and see if you can fill that need some other way. Do it alone or with a friend.


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Having a positive body-image?

It can be difficult, especially if you’re a bit overweight and watch how the rest of the world talk about such things, or depict you. Even more so if you’ve gained 5-7kg since you got sick.
But today I did one of the best things I could have done for myself:
I made sure to go up a size and buy the correct size underwear, even though a part of me believed I was still a size smaller. So I got to come home and put on new underwear that fit amazingly!

I also want to thank Lindex, for offering a wider range of larger sizes now, so I don’t have to feel like “if I can’t fit into this size I can’t have nice clothes”.

A year. A lot changed

I’m sick. But I hate using that word.

I’m on sick leave. Due to exhaustion. Depression.
The exhaustion is worse than the depression.

It drains. And paralyzes.

I went for years. I did not realize that the way I pushed myself would be my downfall. Again.

I’m not alone. He loves me. I love him.
He will hold me. Tell me that everything will be okay. One day. But now I need rest.

It is true. Rest. I need rest. So I rest. Resting is not easy.