I’ve always been a pretty energetic person. Sunny disposition, optimist; shining when out and about.
This doesn’t directly reflect my inside, it’s probably quite the opposite. In order to be able to leave the house I would have to pump myself up, to be happy and energetic. I’d have to make sure I could exude this energy all day, or weekend if it was a conference or such. I did the same thing when I had a job, I also loved all the jobs I’ve had. But they’ve been short, because this kind of pumped up energy isn’t sustainable.
Today I’m at home, and the work I do is from home, the mere thought of working in an office is incredibly uncomfortable to me. I think it’s because I’ve eventually learnt that, as I said, that level of energy isn’t sustainable for me anymore. In the past I thought it was, but it isn’t.
If you wonder why you’re so energetic at work, but at 0 energy when you’re at home, maybe this will help you to think about. It may be worth looking at how to make going up work sustainable, instead of slowly burning yourself out.
I love em, and I hate em. You make so many of them because you have an idea you just have to jot down. And I fucking hate it.
I’m considering replacing drafting with just plain journaling, but I love writing by hand, which sometimes’ way too slow. I’ve also considered making use of my recorder again, a digital one I bought years ago, just before smartphones broke through…
I don’t think any of this will change, I do however want to squeeze in some time here and there to write, and maybe get somewhere with those drafts.
This makes me think about how fleeting digital journaling is, as we leave sites, where we used to write blog posts (Swedish people may recognize places such as Lunarstorm and Helgon), where I wrote a lot in my youth. Both those places are completely (at least my related accounts) gone now. I’m not sure if there’s any real loss in that, it’s just interesting.
I guess time will tell. That said, I’ve started publishing a bit on Medium, and I have a poetry/writing related Mastodon account now, you are very welcome to follow both of those. Not all posts will make it to Medium, and not everything writing related will make it off the draft/follow only stage on Mastodon. and I like to keep it that way.