Sick and Sick

Being sick and energetic. 
It's such a weird combination.
I'm not the same sick now
as I was then,
but rather I'm a normal kind of sick
instead of abnormal.
You know, then I was undiagnosed,
and sick for years
--just imagining things--
now I'm here and queer, wait that's not right.
Well it's exactly right but not for this conversation.

My throat needs clearing
my lungs help out,
one cough after another,
an itch impossible to scratch
deep down my throat.
It's like the words are just stuck down there,
unable to move, clawing at my throat
from the inside. Screaming LET US OUT!

What is so strange about this kind of sick
is that it's supposed to be normal
but it doesn't feel normal
because I already have plans to do other things,
what do you mean I have to cancel my plans
and take it easy?
I spent 8hrs doing nothing yesterday, isn't that rest?
Not enough,
apparently.
And here I am. Better than ever but also sick

Being sick and energetic.
It's such a weird combination.
Sick in a way I have not been in a long time,
after cutting ties with the outside world.
after not being able to go out there and enjoy it,
I am now right here today going stir--not crazy
--I'm restless, but I need to rest,
because I've got a cold,
or tonsillitis, who knows.
But the cold isn't getting better
and I'm bored of resting.

Please LET ME OUT.

How can you be sick when you're this energetic.
It was just a small cough--What do you mean I lost my voice. Oh..

Being sick and energetic.
It's such a weird combination.
Is that why they are trapped there,
the words I want to share.
Clawing at the inside of my throat, screaming, and crying.
Please please, dear Madame let me out?


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